the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
