Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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