I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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