She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
