How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Are we still banned from the library?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
