I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize