Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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