My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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