UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
