the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
