His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
