OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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