I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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