I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
