I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
