Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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