Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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