my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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