i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
