I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
