Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
dude. I can hear the air.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
