im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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