dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
