batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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