I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
