I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
