I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
