Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
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I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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