Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
