Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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