I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
