What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize