if you like me you must not know who I am
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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