that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
love makes seman taste better
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
