I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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