Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
