my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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