Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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