my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
There's even glitter on my cock...
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