I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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