her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
