After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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