So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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