So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
