Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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