there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
