I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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