I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
