Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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