I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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