Nicole vs. Life
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's just like the Real World with babies
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
