So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize