I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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