If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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