mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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