My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Still dying that you shit outside
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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