i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
