Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
