I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
