That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
