i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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