you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
