jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
