Where are you?
In a non slutty way
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
