There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
