You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
